happy holidays...

blargh.

I have a lot of things to do before going back to work tomorrow... mostly want to paint, but that will have to wait a bit.

I'm rereading Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood. What are you reading?

I enjoyed Kung Fu Panda. Sue me.

I want to quit smoking. It's dirty and unhealthy and expensive. It's also just one more thing to carry around. Why have I been doing this for over twenty years? Not sane.

I want to throw away a lot of the garbage that has cluttered up my life for far too long.

well... ok.

So I pretty much blew nablopomo. Ok.

Not letting that stop me. Maybe I'll try it again. Maybe I'll just blog whenever I feel like it.

I write these things to negate my own tendency to give up on things just because I hit a little snarl in life. Just reminding me that life is snarly. Just have to go with it. Just have to get on with it, no matter what happened last week or yesterday or ten minutes ago... or what might happen in a minute.

It's just life. If you survive it, kitty, then you have time to do what you want.

poisonous.

Toxic. That's how I feel right now... Which is aggravating because I actually have some positive things to look forward to.

But personally, emotionally... I am filled with very ugly emotions. Enough that it is eating at me physically.

Timing... Fail.

Just not a good night for kitty to be blogging.

odd little plaques...

...make for weird scans. (So get a camera, kitty. Gah.)



She's a bit different from the women I've been painting lately. She didn't even get sanded.

cookies.

I made them. Nothing fancy, just basic toll house... but not from a box. This is kind of rare for me, as I just don't much... cook. Hardly ever is probably the correct term. They turned out pretty good.

Amanda Palmer love:



She's like a big, scratchy cat that I want to marry. I know, I know... Get in line.

painting progress...

Well, the story here is that I'm making a bit of it. Progress, that is. On my little painting.

Maybe tomorrow she'll be ready.

Her eyes were telling me... that she needed new eyes. Be that.

my moods...

they do swing.

It hasn't taken much to get me snippy today. Really, though...

Gah, I have to stop myself before I commence with the big whining.

all day yesterday...

I kept thinking that I'd put up the Harry Potter thing that day. Ah, the mind... and its little skips.

I'm currently having a love/hate relationship with the little painting I've been working on since Saturday. I like her... but something just isn't right. Yet. More texture? Maybe.

I thought about posting her (as a W.I.P), but she tells me (with her eyes) that she isn't ready. Yet.

Going to bed now.

ack!

How did I miss Sunday?

Oh well. That's no excuse to give up.

More later, after work.

*sulks*

Should have been this month, dagnabbit.

must post...

something before falling asleep.

Hey, I actually got to put in a full week at work. And my muscles and aching back will attest to that. we've been working 32 hour weeks for the past month or so, but they took volunteers for today, so yay! I made it through a full week and won't have to cry quite so hard when I get my next paycheck.

I think the lovelies want me to create an island of warm human reading for them now.

i'm sorry...

...that this has been such a bad blog week. Really.

I just refuse not to post, even when I'm washed out and tired and have nothing to say.

What are you reading? I'm still reading Duma Key. It's not bad. (No Lisey's Story, but not bad.) Yes, I enjoy Steven King. Even the newer stuff. I usually end up seeking out a bit of King about once a year. (Favorites: Carrie and Rose Madder. Even though the endings make me want to scream. No, not in the way you would think.)

Rec something for me, huh?

I am so sleepy.

Seriously, things are topsy turvy at work and it's wearing me out.

There are a million things that I either need or want to be doing, but I'm having so much trouble finding any sort of energy.

I just want to curl up and sleep. I think I will in about ten minutes.

i assure you...

That this is a post. For real.

Look, it's right here on my blog, so it must be a post.

bleh... oh yea!... erm...

Mood swing, anyone? I have a few to spare.

Feel too antsy to write tonight.

And yet here I am. Writing. Not saying much, mind you, but writing no less.

Caves. I live in a cave, and carry it around with me. I want to find my home.

Sorry. Scattered.

well...

She isn't so much the Empress after all. In fact, she didn't turn out like I imagined she would at all. I'm cool with that. I think she's done, but I might scuff her up a bit more before varnishing.




I'm not really sure how I feel about her right now. Need to let her sit for a while before I make any decisions.

the worst thing about not driving...

Actually, there are a few. Trapped. Helpless for just in case...

Yes, there are a few, but tonight I'm feeling stuck on trapped. In this house. In this pattern.

Stuck.

It's past the due date, but my empress now has... a background. (Woo-hoo!)

I'm so out of love with handbags right now...

Seriously, I haven't seen a bag that I really like for years. I search... but always come up empty.

All I want is a veggie tote, messenger or large satchel, preferably in black, that will go over my shoulder if not over my head. Also must be neither too stiff nor too floppy. And no dangly or frou-frou, please. I would, though, like something attractive. Silver hardware is a plus.

Also, I would prefer not to have to take out a loan to get it. Because I couldn't.

Argh.

Silly blog, I know. Just one of those things that always bugs me.

quickie...

Just wanted to get a quick post in before midnight. The power went out earlier, and I was afraid I wouldn't make it on time. No work tomorrow, so I should have time for a better post.

Rahr, recession. My poor little paycheck...

Anyway, I think the lovelies are ready for bed now, so I'll sign off until tomorrow.

out of the mood...

Do you ever get like that? Just out of the mood for anything.

Sitting and staring. Maybe I should go and read for a while.

*stirs from sugar coma...*

Oh, kitty, grow up.

Have I mentioned that I need a haircut? Badly.

No art to show today. It has just been difficult to get time alone with the computer for the past couple of days. Hopefully tomorrow... I had to insist upon time to post here today.

I have been working on my Empress card for the Suzi Blu project... (By "working" I mean, well, there's gesso down.) I hope to have it done by Friday, but if not, I'll just get it done when I can.

I have a good idea for her. I'm curious to see what I actually end up with.


Here's a baby picture of Mr. Oliver Squeakers. Just because. Doesn't he look ferocious?

Well, today the financial pinch of cut back hours at work, and the physical pinch of my clothes on my compulsively over-eating body didn't stop me from buying... a whole, whole bunch of heavily reduced Halloween candy. I now have quite the little stockpile. Enough to last well into spring.

I also have a new blue wig and Pussyfoot pajamas and a little Ty "Fraidy Cat" and, for ze reading, Steven King's Duma Key.

All set for hibernating. I wish I could hibernate. Well, not the sleeping so much... I just want to hole up with the lovelies and paint and read and write and snuggle and such for a few months.

The Lovelies:



Actually, I think we'll just snuggle up on the futon and read a couple of chapters. Wow. I find myself looking forward to that.

thirsty?

This is another little 5x5 plaque... I think she's done. Not sure just yet.

First...

Can you guess what's in the neato little pocket?

Need help?




A little over three months ago I won this lovely from Rose at What I Made Today on Win A Whimsy Wednesday! (Link is in my blog list, over there on the left. Go make with the click-y. This blog is amazing.)

I love this little witch. She always makes me smile. The scan doesn't really do her justice, so just know that she looks like this, only better. The blue and red are, hmmm, I think the word would be pearly. I love the design and just the overall "feel" of this piece.

Belated thank you, Rose!

I'm coming back...

I know, I know. I've said it before.

I really am tired of letting depression get the best of me, though.

So... I signed up for NaBloPoMo. Yep. Me. Kitty. That woman who was going to start posting again (again) over a month ago. (Again.)

I have a lot of catching up to do, and I'm going to do it one day at a time.

yes, i'm a latecomer...

But I am falling in love with Amanda Palmer. And it's probably because of this song.



How's this weekend for that update post, huh?

wait... i was gonna... but...

I sit down to post, and end up staring.

And end up looking at the awesomeness of other peoples blogs.

And stuff.

I have lots to share... so please don't give up on me, huh?

(Just, you know, watch. I have enough stuff for a superwhammobangup, erm, update. I just have to get the fingers and the brain to sing together.)

(No, not like Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis in that movie.)

(Did I spell either of those names correctly?)

(I should probably just go and watch Torchwood and practice shading my Petite Dolls until this passes.)

(Please love me back.)

zendala...

I've never done one of these, so I thought I would give it a shot... and I sat there for over two hours, just absolutely engaged.

Honestly, it was harder than I thought it would be, coming up with different patterns, but still very enjoyable.

red and green...

Not just for Christmas anymore.

This one was inspired by a blog post from my sister. This is me planting my little flag for the red and green reclamation effort.

Also posted on Feministart.

must love libraries...

But I haven't decided whether I should leave her pale or add just a touch of color to her cheeks...

This wasn't my original intention, but she's sort of like Velma, minus the glasses, huh?

I find that I really like working small these days...

How am I feeling?

A bit like this...

But I'll get over it.

ack!

Where have I been?

Actually, I've been having a bit of a creative drought. Yesterday I tried to force it, made a sketch... and then promptly blobbed it up... with an ultra-fine sharpie. See, I love ultra-fine sharpies... but the blobbing, not so much.

Bit of a stressful time right now. Can't control my ink flow, you know?

muckolating...

tongue-tied and thankful...

Okay, deep breath...


Earlier this week I was given an honor... and, as I said before, I wanted to take the time to give a good and proper response. But I'm sitting here right now, and I'm stammer-writing. I'm tongue-tied and I'm speechless, but most of all I'm thankful... so I'm going to move on forward with this.



Thank you so much Rose for presenting me with the Arte y Pico Award. Even though I've expressed myself through images or written words for as long as I can remember, it still takes me aback when someone actually notices, even encourages it... Again, thank you, Rose.



To paraphrase, or to perhaps just quote directly: This award, originally started by Esey, was created to be given to bloggers who inspire others with their creative energy and their talents, be it writing or artwork in all medias. To be listed is considered a “special honor” the Arte y Pico Award is meant to be paid forward to bloggers who are deserving of it.


Here are the five blogs I've chosen, in no particular order. Be sure to check them out and give them some of the love they deserve.

blujay studio

Out of Character

A Girl and Her Journal

The Path to Publication

Musings From Behind the Easel

If you have been selected for the award, please pay it forward, following the steps below:

1) Choose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award based on creativity, design, interesting material, and overall contribution to the blogger community, regardless of the language.

2) Post the name of the author and a link to his or her blog so everyone can view it.

3) Each award-winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.

4) The award-winner and the presenter should post the link of the "Arte y pico" blog , so everyone will know the origin of this award.


5) Please post these rules!

The Arte y Pico blog is absolutely in Spanish. To read a not so perfect translation, go here.


Also, if you haven't already, check out Rose's amazing blog What I Made Today.

It's such an honor to receive this award from someone whose life is so threaded through with art, beauty and creativity.

Thanks again.

-kitty

I did do this...

The other night we stopped for a couple of hours of movie time... and what did I do? Yes, I dragged my little "art board" and all of my little jars of pens and such, along with two of the little plaques I gesso-ed last weekend into the living room and painted during quality time.

I just really wanted to, you know?

They aren't varnished yet because I think I might add a couple more little details. This will be another two painting set... mini. Both are on 4 inch x 4 inch wood plaques.

Could I say the word little a few more times in this post?




Scanning washes it out a bit, but what do you do?

quick update...

Well, I got a huge honor this week... and it just blew me away. I'll have a longer post on that some time this weekend. I want to do that when I have time to sit and think it through.

I've had a case of hecticdayjobdootherstuff-itis this week. Urgh. Have to run right now...

muck, muck, muck...

Yes... I'm a mucker. No kids, though, so I'm not a mothermu... well, you get the gist.

I did manage to gesso a couple of little plaques... They're right here, waiting, like in that bad song from the eighties... Except, well, I like them a lot more.

Hey, I am a kitty mom, though... so...

more mucking about with the old stuff...

I already miss you...

P.S. - Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits.

Forever.

crooked little books, part two...

... electric, erm, bookaloo.



Okay, I apologize for that.

Have I mentioned that making mini art journals has become my new addiction?

I made five yesterday... and, folks, that's pretty productive for me. This time I took advantage of the stack of free local newspapers (like I did with my art journal cover) as well as hand painted paper... and even the cover from a bar of soap. (The green one is the soap wrapper.)

They're still crooked, but I'm getting better a book at a time.



I really should do my nails sometime in the next decade...

...no to get stuck, please.

Been wallowing in the ideas lately... Not a lot of actual productivity, but it's coming.

Meanwhile, tonight I've been a bit zoned out, so I took one of my old drawings and mucked about with it with ze photoshop...




I love playing like this... but it certainly does suck time away.

crooked little books...

Well, I made these little "mini journals" a few weeks ago using Tascha's tutorial and whatever I had on hand to substitute. (This means that I used recycled packaging material, work trash labels, painted my own decorative paper, etc. I even carved the star stamp out of an old eraser. Also, Mod Podge still rules.)

Inner critic says, "You cut everything all crooked. You don't even have a good craft knife, much less a paper cutter. You used scissors and a box cutter. You cut the corners too close, so the edges aren't covered properly. And these photos... ugh. Not very good."

But guess what? Screw inner critic.

I made these. For the first time. And I kinda like 'em.





I was inspired to make these by Tascha, and inspired to post them by walkinthewoods. She posted hers a while back and they look great.

mermaids on the brain...

Lately I've been thinking a lot about painting mermaids. I think it must be because I've seen quite a few different interpretations of them on art blogs in the past couple of months. While I'm at work I have all of these ideas for different paintings... and these days it seems like mermaids are the switch flipper...

The problem I'm running across with this is that my figure drawing just isn't up to snuff. I need practice. I need to learn a few proportion skills... The painting I did last week was a just a face... and thus I had far fewer problems with it. (It just seems that, even though she's blue, I have to tell people that she's a mermaid.) I have to get better at arms and such... I want to show the entire creature... and I will.

I did do this sketch... then fiddled with the colors with photoshop.





Now I have to go and do cat things...

two for one, yes?

I did these two paintings on an approximately 5.75 x 3.25 inch block of scrap wood, one on either side, then painted around the outside in black.





I actually sort of enjoyed the challenge of working with the wood grain, but I'm thinking that next time I'll do a bit more preliminary sanding before I dive into the painting.

Wood scraps... yay.

kittens...

Yarrrgh...

Caramel's kittens are getting so big... Big enough to climb up on my desk and walk on my keyboard. They are adorable, beautiful... but when I got up I had these pictures downloaded to my desktop and I had no clue what they were. Well, it seems the little darlings somehow managed to download pics from the windows I had open when I walked away from the computer for a bit last night.

Pretty brilliant, huh? Seven weeks... It's going to hurt to have to find homes away from us for them, but I knew that would be the case from day one... (Caramel was pregnant when she stepped into our lives.)

Sort of mellows the aggravation of finding random things on my desktop.

Tascha love...

Lookit, lookit!



Yep, I just won this lovely Tascha print.



Isn't it beautiful?

Happy birthday to me, huh?

*Shouts yay! and does incredibly silly chair dance.*

Thanks again, Tascha.

trying something...

So I decided to try my hand at ATC's using leftovers scrounged from work trash, my trash, and the usual supply suspects. This is my first set, and it was inspired by my sister. I just have to finish off the backs and figure out a cool way to put them together for her...

Have I mentioned that my sister is badass?

Thank you, Mom...

For everything.

I love you more every minute I live.

What do I need?

Well, since you didn't really ask I'll tell you.

This is something that I also want. A lot.

What I need is a table. Nothing fancy. Something sturdy I can scoot up to and put my legs under while I'm working on projects.

A table is something that I often think about. Wish about.

Times are tight, so for now I'm improvising... but one day I will stumble across my table. And it shall be of the perfect height. And it shall be roomy enough that I might spread my stuff out a bit if the mood strikes.

And, yea, my stuff will be glad not to be balanced upon the arm of a chair for once.

some older stuff...

I started this blog with this image:




This is the first image from my current life book, done this year. I realized that I'd done this sort of image before, but I feel that journaling is an intuitive thing for me, so I went ahead with it, and I was pretty pleased with how it turned out.

Lately I've been looking through some older journals, and I found two other, similar drawings. I should explain that these are from when I was keeping mandala journals a few years back. I use the term mandala journal loosely here. I realize that a lot of people associate the term mandala with circular, more pattern based or structured images.

These are from a method that I picked up in art therapy (depression and anxiety) which just involves the circle. Start with the circle, then do what comes intuitively. These images can then be "translated" to reveal where you are emotionally, mentally, etc. based on color. style, composition, etc.

Only I never went for the translation aspect of things. I really just used the circle as a starting point, and the art itself as a means of release. I do believe in the validity of this aspect of things... but I wanted to draw and play with color more than I wanted to research... There's a telling confession, I suppose.

(There are books out there on translating your mandalas. Perhaps one day I will find some links to share here.)

Anyway, back to the stuff I started rambling about in the first place... Tea or coffee cups with faces. I think these images come out of me for a lot of different reasons. Tea and coffee are comfort items for me, and I always have a mug of one or the other right on hand. Also, I think the images are a way of saying that I feel like I'm being consumed in one way or anther. I like that the drawings always turn out a bit kitschy as well. These are just a few of the far ranging reasons that I think I go back to them.

This image is from 2005:




For the mandala journals, my materials consisted almost exclusively of Crayola markers, fine and ultra-fine tipped sharpies, those yellow Papermate mechanical pencils, whatever colored pencils I could afford, and a few heavy artists pencils. I still keep all of these things on hand because I love using them, but I am trying to use new things these days.

I like the swirls here, and the kitty cat, and I think that I like the composition of this one best out of the three.

The last one here is actually the first one that I did, all the way back in 2003:




This one is actually probably the best example of that consumed feeling I mentioned before. And of how tired and fed up I felt at that point in time, even though I knew that the best thing to do was to just keep offering myself up in the best ways that I could. This was a very straining, draining time in my life, but one that I wouldn't exchange for anything, save a happy ending of the sort that only occurs in fairy tales.

If you look close, you can see just how stressed I was... The area inside the saucer was done in very dark pencil, and I apparently pressed hard enough to crease the paper.


Looking at all of these really forces me to think about where I was, and where I am now.

It shows me some of my common themes, and how I've grown ( and perhaps regressed at times) in my art.

See, I just really realized that these teacups are always me. Yes, a lot of things that I draw represent how I feel, but I think these little cups are the most realistic way that I have ever portrayed myself in my art. And it was all intuitive.

Please pardon me while I have a great big moment with myself...

couple more...

These two are from Suzi Blu assignments.


First is the Mola power animal... You know, I tried not to pick cats, but cats just are. These are my gemini cats, similar, yet different. Together.

(Yes, that's a glare. Sorry. Working on it.)

Next is the "Start with a flower" assignment. Lots of Crayola going on for this one.


To me, it's about feeling lost. Obscured.

I do love Suzi Blu. How inspiring is she? Really. Do I have to even say it?

trying...

Yes, trying to get back on track.

that's strange...

Somehow my youtube favorites player... suddenly ended up being someone else's. Nothing bad, mind you, just not exactly my taste.

Anyway, I fixed it. I hope it stays... mine.

I wonder if someone who thought they put up Dimu Borgir and other assorted heavy stuff was surprised to find Suziblu, Mothra, and Shonen Knife on their page... Kind of funny, actually.

I came across the "blogging without obligation" button just surfing through art blogs... and I love it.

I think I found it at just the right time, considering the contents of my last post.

I picked it up here: http://www.tartx.com/blog/

Excellent blog, this.

I have been bad,,,

...Yes, lazy and bad about keeping up with this blog. Not just that, but about keeping up with making art in general.

And I'm tired of it. Being lazy and bad, that is.

Seriously, I know that journaling is something that actually makes me feel better, and yet I neglect it. What am I thinking?

The new computer has been up for a while now, and the scanner is right here in the box, waiting for me. So, kitty, what's the problem?

Whatever it is, you need to get over it.

(Does anyone else in the world pep-talk themselves through their blog?)

Okay. Very soon. Yes.

As soon as I get done playing with these crayons...

My Fortune Cookie told me: You would do well to remember that radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

Not really certain what it means, but I have a few theories...

today...

Today is for rearranging the desk and getting the new computer set up. Something tells me that I'll have to start my Vista experience tonight... which sort of scares me, but it has to happen sometime, right?

Still trying to shake this crud. I feel a bit better today, but it's still hard to be energetic about anything. Too much medicine, probably. Still feel sort of disconnected.

I am working on a journal page, which I will post either tonight or tomorrow.

I want a nap.

sickness...

I have it. Much.

It's this thing that's going around... Seems it's constantly reinventing itself.

Right now I feel like I'm rotting from the inside out. All over. The coughing has taken a back seat... but this is just lousy. Probably didn't help that I worked all week with it, with its phases of yuck.

Anyway, I told myself that I was going to put up smething at least once a week, but I missed last week...

This was done last week, so I'm allowing it to count.

Hey, I had to glue those candy wrappers to something.

inner critic...

I love to look around at other art blogs. They're often beautiful, often inspiring... but they also amp up the old inner critic at times.

My i.c. is so good at what it does. It's flexible. Sometimes it calls me names. Other times it just snickers quietly... I think the worst might be the times when it gets all syrupy and patronizing with me...

I've been fighting back lately, and with some flexibility as well... but some days are more difficult than others.

It is there when I try to write as well, waving television in my face and reminding me that I have to work very early in the morning.

Writing about it helps.

New journal page soon.

Journal cover thusfar...

Well, like I said, I don't think it's quite finished... but this is the end result of yesterday's Mod Podge orgyfest.

It's simple, but I'm pretty happy with it. Nothing feels like it's going to fall off.

Thanks again to Jim for the image... and for finding me these journals to use.

Mod Podge Rules...

Okay, so everyone else in the world probably already knew that. Sorry... but you should have talked me into it sooner. Really.

I picked up a container of the Matte-Mat the other day... just opened it up this morning and started.

I'm addicted.

Didn't have any decorative paper to work with, but I did find a pile of those free local newspapers laying around. Perfect. The colors are there, but somewhat muted... which I love.

The cover of my journal is coming out better than I ever thought it would.

So yay. Pictures when everything dries, even though I don't really think of it as finished.

Okay, so I'm going to do this thing...

Just one of them, though... for today. This is the second page from the new life book.

Yea, I'm still a little rusty, but it's coming back.

Also, many, many thanks to Jim for scanning this for me...

Three...

Well, page three of the journal has turned into a bit of a doodle-fest... which is fine. Playing with markers has always just been an enormous part of who I am.

I play with markers.

This is actually one of those things that I don't dislike about myself, so yay me.

I tried taking a few photos, but so far they've been too dark and blurry. Plan on trying something different with the lighting today.

Still working on page two of the journal. I'll probably have it done tonight.I think it just needs a couple of words... Creatively, I did use bronzer as a shading tool. (This worked out fine. Subtle, if not exactly what I was going for with it.)

It feels so right to be drawing again, even if I'm not always completely satisfied with the result. I can feel a shift in the way I think...

Hugs from Grey!

Bubble wrap? Yes, I'm finding that when I use it like a stamp it's great for adding texture.

Grey looks a bit frightened by the idea, or maybe someone get the camera a little close to her face. (She doesn't mind, really. She's the biggest ham of the bunch.)

I think I'm going to try and get some pics of my first two journal projects and post them in the next couple of days... Have to get my feet wet sometime, right?

Yes, yes... another one.

But this time it will be so different...

Anyway, the plan with this blog is to focus on the much neglected artist that lives in me. Getting started has been slow going, and it might be a while before I build up the nerve to post actual pictures of my work (which will be mostly journaling for now, I'm thinking) but this is the first of the baby steps, yes?

Yes. It is.

For now I must go and play with bubble wrap...